Well, itaa‚¬a„¢s sure not fish and chips

Osho Fish, 19 Primaverii Reservations: 021 5683031

When the Osho steakhouse opened last year it caused a sensation with its style and its menu. Now they have opened a fish restaurant next door, and it too will cause a sensation – with its style and menu.

The ‘theme’ is similar to its meaty neighbor: namely, it doubles up as a deli as well as a restaurant. So proudly on display on the walls and around the chiller cabinet is a selection of 25 different olive oils, numerous dried pastas, pastes and toasty spreads and massive catering sized tins of anchovies and tuna. And above all, you can buy your fresh fish to eat at home at a special takeaway price.

Now let’s get down to the food. There is a printed paper ‘tablecloth’ menu showing the house staple dishes. I defy you not to be shocked, because this is the cheapest fish house in town. Not here the rip-off prices charged by other restaurants who are inadvertently the prisoners of the city’s rip-off fish distributors. The House has cut these rogues out of the loop and imports directly!

But before you order from the menu, take a walk around the chiller. They had Alaskan crab ‘legs’, live lobsters, cuttlefish prawns of every size, shrimps in samphire grass and so much more which was disappearing before my eyes as an army of waiters were offloading it.

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And whilst you are still at the chiller, let your eyes drift upwards to the blackboard where the daily catch is listed. The have a staggering market list of around 90 species, a lot of which simply will not be available on any given day. Hence the House has wisely chosen to write up the fish and their prices in chalk, knowing that they will have to add or delete items the

next day.

As a first in this country, they had parrot fish. This exotic blue coral reef eater is so beautiful that if you ask to see it before it is cooked for you, it will break your heart. But get over it quickly because it tastes great. Other fishes that are rarely seen in Romania (and they are on the blackboard) included ‘monkfish’ – a fish so ugly that if asked to see it uncooked you would probably faint, but when the tail is cooked it is simply sublime. Also included were sole, turbot, red gurnard and captain fish.

There were also everybody’s favorites of tuna and swordfish. I saw these two beauties before they were cut up into fillets, and I swear to you they were both over 1.5 meters long and weighing in at over 50 kilos!

So I started with fresh white anchovies which I soaked in olive oil and went to heaven. I followed this with a Turkish chili salsa which was good, but for my taste it needed spicing up with more blistering chilies.

A fish soup followed which was a failure. It was a Romanian version so it had a base of bors and lashings of dill. This would be fine on the Delta, but it did not do justice to the sophistication of Osho! A further failure was the bread which was so mundane that it simply did not ‘fit in’ with its surroundings.

But back to good things. Blondie and I gorged on a selection of fishes, all of which were good. The cooking style is Greek, which means it is grilled. The House told me that soon they will extend this to French, so we can look forward to a range of sauces and alternative cooking technique of steaming, boiling in wine and cider, stuffing with savories, fruit and vegetables… and everything else that being ‘Frenched up’ implies.

But I have saved the best until last. You see, they have a fixed priced two-course business lunch at a mere RON 18.5. Look at that price again. How can they do it? Easy. It is a matter of arithmetic and good management. Just as you cannot put toothpaste back into the tube, you cannot put fish back into the freezer. Fresh means fresh. So with a maximum life of 24 hours it has to be eaten.

And that is the secret of their low prices. They have to clear their huge stock of

fish daily. So they rely upon a huge volume of diners. So the paradox is, the more

you eat there, the lower the prices will remain!

That is a winning formula for both the House and the customers.

Michael Barclay

mab.media@dnt.ro