Restaurant review: Size is not important after all

Omnivore’s Dilemma, 214 Calea Victoriei, tel 021 212 566

What a crazy name for a restaurant. But that is the only thing I didn’t like about this little place, because it is a gem. And when I say little, I mean little. And yes, ladies, for the first time little is good.

To explain. It is the same size and shape as one Metro carriage. Long and thin and supporting only six tables packed end to end. In front of you is an open kitchen which is a concept I applaud – after all, how can you have any hygiene queries when you see your food being made in front of you!

The menu is chalked on a blackboard, and in the spirit of a provincial French bistro it changes daily. So my dilemma is saying something meaningful about the food I had, realizing that when you go there the menu will be different. But to put the food into context, the most impressive thing about this tiny boutique is the tiny prices.

For everything is around RON 10. Given that there were seven people in the kitchen cooking for six tables, I marveled at how they could possibly make a profit. My misgivings on this point were soon admonished by the continuous stream of customers ordering take away food to chomp in their offices. Situated opposite the new Hugo Boss store and surrounded by all the major office blocks around Piata Victorei, this location is a winning formula.

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And at these prices, they cannot go wrong. So, let’s look at the blackboard menu. For people running on the hoof, there were quick sandwiches at RON 10 with a selection of Chorizo, feta cheese and ham. That is the same price as a grease laden, fattening MacMuck burger. Which would you choose?

There was a selection of quiches, namely, Mozzarella, spinach and salmon. Frankly, I hold old fashioned attitudes to quiche, which is that it is not real macho man’s food. But I am a total hypocrite as I make it at home all the time. My lunch date Blondie ordered one and adored it (again at RON 10), but she complained about the small size of her slice.

But we had no complaints about the size of the rest of our meal. We ordered two salads: tabbouleh (cracked wheat, fresh tomato and fresh parsley) which was huge and absolutely correct. At RON 10 I promise you that this would be the price to buy the materials in the avaricious street markets of Dorobanti or Amzei. So to have it at a restaurant table was a bargain.

Away to our second salad of what the House described as “hot beef salad”. This was equally generously large, but the word “hot” was misplaced as the meat was cold, but they meant the description to be spicy hot. Of course it wasn’t, as Romanians consider ground black pepper to be hot and spicy. So forget jalepeno, vindaloo or harissa versions of hot, as you are not going to get them! The description was an honest mistake.

We then had chicken enchiladas which were exactly what they said they were. This Tex Mex pancake dish should be red hot spicy. I mean as if Mount Vesuvius had been poured down your throat. Again, there was plenty of flavor, but no macho tough-guy heat. They should have offered jalepenos on the side. But it was good.

Well, that’s it folks. It is a small place with a small menu. There remained cheesecake and tiramisu. The latter looked perfect, and the table next to me adored it. Being a macho man I do not normally indulge in either quiche or tiramisu, but I have never met a woman who could resist it. All women love tiramisu, but in the morning, after several helpings, they should look in the mirror and ask themselves, “Does tiramisu love me?” We know the answer and three hours of jogging on the treadmill should be the penalty they must pay as a result.

It is a lovely place and I recommend it without reservation. And on that word, I suggest you book a table.

Michael Barclay

mab.media@dnt.ro